di·chot·o·my: division into two parts or classifications, esp when they are sharply distinguished or opposed.

Acknowledgments
Thank you to my husband Tom for your patience and for listening. I appreciate you making me a priority and for helping me to clarify my thoughts for this project.

Thank you to Claudia Lamar and Lanell Dike for your enthusiasm and assistance in hanging this installation. Lanell, thank for suggesting a cleaner way of hanging and Lorraine Bruce, thank you for this opportunity and for asking me to exhibit in the first place.

“Meaningful Work”
mixed-media: paper, canvas, thread, collage, fabric, muslin, acrylic 7″ x 5″
©2010 Leah Virsik

I’m working on finishing up postcards for my show at the Kensington Library next week and trying to determine appropriate words for my process. I’m also thinking about my next question regarding the evolution of my work as I’m working through Alyson B. Stanfield’s Relatively Pain-Free Artist Statement e-book.

I started the postcards in November 2009 in response to inspiration from Jennie Hinchcliff and Carolee Gilligan Wheeler’s book Good Mail Day and Leah Piken Kolidas’ Art Every Day Month Challenge. I started these works as something that I could do quickly and post on my blog in an evening. I initially sent them out to a few people and then I held back. I wanted to hold onto them and now they’re turning into a sixty postcard installation project. The roots of this work is about appreciating the process and ultimately, myself. It’s about play, acceptance, non-judgment, love, messiness, experimentation, connection and exploration. It’s also about working fast and completion. On one hand, the work is great fun and I get lost in it and don’t want to stop. On the other hand, it’s really difficult work that I don’t want to do. I love the work and I can’t believe I’m getting away with it. All these contradictions…Dichotomy feels like it’s going to be a good title. Thanks Tom.

I’ve created this project, designed how it’ll look, put it out into the world, and am in the process of defending (or at least explaining/creating a story about) it to my audience and my inner critic. It’s my first wall… outside of the studio. At times, especially lately, I’ve felt down about it… how do I hang them? It’s not going to work the way I’ve envisioned… no, no it’ll be fine… Tom helped me and I bought some nails he suggested. I’m excited about the way they look on the wall in the studio now. How do I arrange them? By color? By date created? What if I’m hurrying too much and I’m not doing the work or myself justice? It’s painful or so I choose it to be at times. It’s all an experiment. This is a picture of where I’m at in the world today. Do I like the picture? At times, I really do, other times I don’t want to look at it. It’s my work and I’ll continue to do it.

Next post will be more about my process and about how my work is changing.

Sunday evening at 6 p.m. marked the end of the final weekend of Pro Arts East Bay Open Studios and I didn’t want it to end. I definitely faced some challenges during the busy times trying to juggle multiple situations and trying to do too much. But it was a good learning experience and hopefully I’ll handle it better next time. I had a lot of great visits from friends, family and neighbors. One woman saw my card in a café which was a nice treat.

I worked on creating more postcards for my upcoming Kensington Library show during the slower times. There’s something about being in the studio and working and having to be in there that is extremely satisfying. By the end of the day Sunday, inspired by a neighbors’ comment, I was using metal wire in my postcards like “Clingy” above. I’ll be working more with metal and jewelry in the future and hope to finish up some metal books. Ultimately, I’d love to get over my fear of fire.

I taught many people how to make mini books with my promotional postcard. Some people, like I mentioned in my last post, elaborated and added their own spin to my demonstration in inspiring ways. It is my intention to create a safe space that fosters this creativity and honors and accepts people where they are in their process.

As I continue to gain insight in this intention…I realize I need to start with me, create the space and let go. The magic will happen from there. Thanks Lanell for listening to me talk about this tonight and offering your insight!

Day One of Open Studios went really well. I decided to teach people how to make little books with my promotional postcard and my day went by super fast! Lots of great friends, family and neighbors came by. I really enjoyed teaching the kids, the adults too… but the kids are so interesting. They have lots of different ways of doing things that get the same results. I so appreciate this opportunity to learn and be taught by them. I want to connect with other people and build relationships and this is definitely a way to do just that.

Pro Arts Open Studios 2010
Saturdays and Sundays: June 5-6 and 11-12 | 11am to 6pm
My studio: 3934 Madrone Avenue, Oakland, CA 94619

Please join me this weekend and next for Pro Arts Open Studios as I open my studio along with 460 other Bay Area Artists. There are now four of us, on one block, open the first weekend! Karen Schwenk next door to me is open both weekends and Barbra MacNair my neighbor behind the fence and Robby Dickinson are open June 5-6.

Come learn how to make a mini-postcard book! If you’d like a postcard with an image of my book “Honesty” shown above, please let me know.

Bind Your Own Small SCRAP Journal
Saturday, July 10 | 1pm to 4pm
SCRAP 801 Toland Street, San Francisco, CA 94124
Entrance on Newcomb, between Toland and Selby

I’ll be teaching how to bind a small journal using a running stitch from all those interesting SCRAP remnants! $20 plus materials fee. To register: email workshops@scrap-sf.org or call 415-647-1746.

“Green Blue Landscape” pictured above

Solo Show
July 1-August 29, 2010
Kensington Library 61 Arlington Avenue, Kensington, CA 94707

I’ll have many small postcards on display. Come check them out if you’re in the area.

mixed-media book: (running stitch) paper, thread, wallpaper, beads, button, eyelet, elastic
2 5/8″ x 3″ x 3/4″ ©2010 Leah Virsik

My books are getting smaller and smaller lately. I’m using up scraps of paper, mostly and preparing for a class at SCRAP on Saturday, July 10th from 1:00 to 4:00. More details soon!

Still working through Alyson B. Stanfield’s Relatively Pain-free Artist Statement e-book. I’m on a tough question about categorizing my work. And partly I think because I have two different things I do… books and abstract paintings… which at times overlap. Currently, my book focus has been on binding books by hand. Some of my books are one-of-a-kind artist’s books but many are blank books. My blank books are one-of-a-kind as well with emphasis primarily on the cover and the binding. I really feel like I’m in the middle of my creative process and I’m not quite sure which direction I’ll go. I’d like to create more artist’s books but I also get a lot of satisfaction out of quickly making a handbound book. Lately, I’ve been making books as examples that I can teach.

My abstract paintings, abstract expressionism for lack of a better classification, consist of many layers and elements, including paper, paint drippings and eggshells. I work on them without intention until I feel they are done. I’m motivated by color and texture and how they interact with each other on the substrate. My books on the other hand have a very specific intention, measurement and precision.  Lately, I’ve been experimenting a lot with sewing, embroidery, and quilting, incorporating these elements into my books. I try to work fast with a relaxed focus… working with the piece as it develops.

I found this quote going through some high school memorabilia…

“We are all guilty of crime, the great crime of not living life to the full.  But we are all potentially free. We can stop thinking of what we have failed to do and do whatever lies within our power. What those powers that are in us may be no one has truly dared to imagine. That they are infinite we will realize the day we admit to ourselves that imagination is everything. Imagination is the voice of daring.” ~Henry  Miller

I’m continuing to work through Alyson B. Stanfield’s The Relatively Pain-Free Artist Statement e-book. This time I’m working on writing about my artistic influences.

I was recommended a book on encaustic and after looking through the book, I looked up the author online and found out she was teaching at an Artful Journey. Totally engrossed on the Artful Journey site, I temporarily forgot about encaustic and became fully enamored with DJ Pettit.  I was taken by her books and her stitching. After discovering her,  I started doing some “renegade sewing”. My mom taught me how to sew at a young age but what I remember most is jamming up her machine with thread and feeling incredibly guilty for “breaking” her machine. Now when I jam it up, I fix it myself, without guilt.

Artist, Teddy Goldsworthy-hanner referred me to Daniella Woolf who works with encaustic and books. Ahh, heaven!

Tom and I were getting our marriage license at Oakland’s Clerk Recorder’s Office and I was mesmerized by a button portrait by Lisa Kokin of her father. When I read that she taught classes, I knew I wanted to meet her and study under her.  This huge portrait of buttons was something I had never seen before. I was in awe… up close it was a mass of buttons and mixed-media and from a distance it was a portrait of a man. Anyway, as I’ve had the chance to see more of her work, what really stands out for me is her thoughtful process, conceptual approach and her delightful humor. I connect with the layers and depth of meaning in her work.

I really appreciated Robert Rauschenberg‘s concept for his Erased de Kooning at the SFMOMA. I especially loved his piece entitled Hiccups at the SFMOMA as well. Unfortunately, no photo but it was long: 9 in. x 752 in. (22.86 cm x 1910.08 cm) made up of prints, solvent transfer and fabric, with metal zippers on 97 sheets of hand-made paper. Another obsession of mine… long, massive works… it’s intriguing. Creating something bigger than myself in many ways is important to me. I appreciate Rauschenberg’s collage and paintings and the raw, organic feel to his work.

I got to see an incredible retrospective of Mark Rothko’s work at New York’s Whitney Museum of American Art. I almost wonder why I was so taken by this exhibit. Was it the docent, the exhibit or his work? It was probably the entire experience. I could sit in front of one his piece’s at SFMOMA for quite a long time just being. I’m attracted to his work because it’s massive, dominating in a way, peaceful, abstract, colorful and simple.

The Slanted Door in San Francisco had some Rex Ray pieces on display for awhile. That may have been where I first saw his work. His work has a lot of precision, especially some of his bigger pieces that I’ve seen at Gallery 16. I’m attracted to that precision and obsessiveness. As I’m writing this, it reminds me of the obsessive quality of Lisa Kokin’s work. I’m particularly attracted to repetition as well, as in repetition of elements. Some of Rex Ray’s smaller pieces are covered in resin which I’m quite attracted to… that highly shiny quality. I use resin in some of my own works. I’d like to try it with paper at some point too.

Kiki Smith, Eva Hesse and Helen Frankenthaler are some other artists that come to mind. Kiki Smith does a lot of work with the body and sculpture and ties it in really well with storytelling. When I think of Eva Hesse, I think of strings and large installations, the color white and an ephemeral quality. I remember connecting to Helen Frankenthaler’s paintings and the fact that she’s a woman.

Other influences in my work: I mentioned repetition and I have done some screenprinting and letterpress work. There are multiples that come out of printing. I create advertising for a living and it’s printed in multiples, hundreds of thousands at times. I’ve often wondered about what can be done with the leftovers, other than recycling. I’m influenced by what goes in the garbage. What else can it be used for?

I began my career designing newspaper advertising. At my brother’s graduation from U.C. Berkeley, I remember seeing a newspaper on the ground, it was garbage, but I had created the ad on that paper that no longer had value. It was quite depressing at the time. But now, I see it as a challenge… how can I create value in something that has outlived it’s original purpose?

A week ago Friday, Tom and I had the pleasure of seeing San Francisco Film Society present An Evening with Don Hertzfeldt. Wikipedia states that “Hertzfeldt has never held any job other than creating his own animated films, not even in his youth.” This intrigues me. My curiosity was appeased when he asked the audience to thank his parents for never pressuring him to do anything responsible in his life. Wow! I appreciated him sharing that. And even more than what you’re given, it’s what you do with it, that matters. Nice to see an example of a working artist who was given a lot of freedom and has created his own unique, successful direction in a non-commercial way.

I’m continuing to work on Alyson B. Stanfield’s Relatively Pain Free Artist Statement e-book. I’m on the third question and it’s getting difficult. On a side note, I’ve started flossing on a regular basis. It just clicked, I made a decision and decided how I could fit flossing into my routine. What I’m really talking about is self-discipline and that’s what I’m dealing with as I continue blogging and working through Alyson’s questions. Eventually, I’m hoping it’ll become “just what I do”.

I’m writing about my experience creating the book above entitled “Honesty” at an incredible retreat: An Artful Journey with DJ Pettit in February 2010. My biggest takeaway was that it gave me the desire to teach differently. I’ve been teaching some project-based book binding classes and while I enjoy them, I’d like to encourage my students to do work that is their own. I’d like to teach technique, not necessarily specific projects and really encourage students to do work that speaks to them. I want to provide less materials, less control and more freedom.

In teaching bookbinding classes, I’ve provided the majority of the materials. It’s been an easy way to focus on the binding technique. It’s similar to what I’ve learned in other bookbinding classes I’ve taken. Occasionally, students will come up with alternative ideas from what I demo and I’ve been encouraged. I want students to think about how they can make their work theirs. I want to teach technique, share inspiration and create a more open, creative structure that doesn’t stifle the students’ freedom.

I’d like to create a space where students make work that oozes their passion and personality. I want to bring people out, connect with them and help them connect with themselves. When I saw DJ Pettitt’s work on her website I knew I had to study with her. Her books, her texture and colors… I was drawn to her. I felt I wanted to learn to paint on photographs as well but late Saturday night at the retreat I wasn’t so happy with my photograph paintings. I got a chance to connect with DJ. She appreciated my photography and suggested I could use my own photos by themselves without painting over them. I was encouraged. She also said, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do” and relayed a sweet story about her husband. It made sense. When I struggle with something, I need to look and be super honest with myself… What is my purpose in doing this work? Am I really enjoying it? What I had really been enjoying was my previous day ‘s art where I was making a “mess”, painting abstracts and creating a lot of work in effortless excitement. I focused on that fun, inspiring work and cut it up into smaller pieces (with some inspiration from Kelly Warren!) and created the book above out of my work that really spoke to me.

I know there’s a learning process and things don’t always come easily and immediately but if I focus on what I most enjoy, I produce my best work. When I go back to projects that I haven’t finished, many times I’ll realize why and be gentle on myself for not finishing them. I made more books this weekend. That’s something that just comes easily. I’m a little obsessed.

For details on the piece above, click here.

I’d been wanting to get back into blogging… especially since coming back from An Artful Journey in February and meeting such wonderful inspiring women. One of the best things about taking classes and going on retreats is the people! Kelly Warren’s and Roben-Marie Smith’s blogs really inspired and encouraged me. Starting my blog again with an “imperfect” post was my way of “shipping”. (I’ve been reading Seth Godin’s inspiring Linchpin and really enjoying it.) Thanks also to Chrissy Gardner for stopping by! I’m also inspired by her blogging and creative look. I bought a funky, fun skirt last night, that reminded me of her, with the intention of wanting to look and feel more creative.

The best time that I had blogging was last November when I was participating in Leah Piken Kolidas’ Art Every Day Month. I met some really wonderful people there too! I’m now participating in Leah Piken Kolidas’ Creative Every Day Challenge 2010. Thanks to her, the wonderful community she creates there, Linda Tieu and Julie Jordan Scott for reconnecting and encouraging me forward!

I’m on my second week of working through Alyson B. Stanfield’s “The Relatively Pain-Free Artist Statement.”

At age six, I wrote that art was my favorite subject. It’s always been something that I’ve been excited about. At age 26, I gave a speech in a drawing class where I feel I first considered myself an artist, at least in a very public way. I took the class with my boyfriend at the time. He drew really well, better than I and he was much more aware. He didn’t love to draw however and didn’t keep up with it. I had a persistence about it. I’m not sure I loved the drawing but the process was enjoyable and it was great to see what came out of me.

Artist is a loaded word. People have different beliefs about what it means. My biggest stumbling block was the fact that I don’t naturally draw realistically. Now, I realize it’s more of a choice or desire than a lack of ability.

One of my favorite definitions of being an artist is in Cay Lang’s Taking the Leap. Cay Lang recalls artist Terry Allen describing how one knows one is an artist: “An artist can’t stop himself. He really has no choice about it.” I can relate to that obsession. I think one can make art but it doesn’t mean one’s an artist. I believe an artist is obsessed, passionate and focused.

I spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out the meaning of “professional artist”. My own initial definition was an artist who sells work, spends a lot of time creating work, marketing it and getting it out into the world. Looking up the phrase brought up other definitions. One from the Canada Council for the Arts gave this definition: professional artist: An artist who: has specialized training in his or her artistic field (not necessarily obtained in an academic institution); is recognized as such by his or her peers (artists working in the same artistic tradition); is committed to devoting more time to the artistic activity if this becomes financially feasible; has a history of public presentation

No language about making money. Very curious how that was my number one requirement. NAVA (Australia) has a definition as well. So, after all that, yes, I consider myself a professional artist. Having a serious commitment to art and it being a major aspect of my life make me a professional artist.

On a bit of a sidenote, I appreciate Seth Godin’s definition of art from Linchpin: “Art is the intentional act of using your humanity to create a change in another person.”

I’ve been working with a creativity coach that’s been really good for me. I found her through Eric Maisel’s yahoo group, thanks to Deborah Griffin! My coach, Toni, is very positive and encouraging and also has a great way of gently reminding me to narrow my focus. So I’m committing to apply for my MFA to at least SFSU by the January 2011 deadline. This writing is my preparation for my statement of purpose and artist statement. There are some things in life that might be crazy, impractical, etc. and other people don’t think you should do them but you know that you must. For me, this is one of those things and I’m going for it. Years ago I bought a 1967 VW Beetle. I had no money, I even took an advance from my credit card, no not necessarily the smartest thing… but the decision to move forward on something I really wanted gave me power. I didn’t know exactly what I was getting into but I needed to move out of being safe and do something I really wanted for me.

Now on to answering Alyson B. Stanfield’s questions… I won’t be writing the actual questions but these are my art experiences… the big picture stuff:

Some early memories of making art involve my mom…working on a dried flower arrangement… which I actually won an award for in 1978. I remember being sick and not enjoying working on the project and feeling like my mom helped me a lot. I also remember working on a doll kit with my mom. I cast the doll in a mold and then painted it, it was kind of like Holly Hobby. I never finished it and was left with a really bad memory of “not finishing things”. I remember making puppets and having puppet shows with a friend, taking a puppet class, making felt cutouts for a December calendar that my mom hung on the wall. I remember writing a story in kindergarten and winning first place. I won a stuffed Snoopy and Woodstock, the teacher’s favorite cartoon characters. I was amazed that I had won. I don’t remember the experience of writing. I wrote “bubble” letters in the car on a trip when I probably was a bit older. The lettering was really interesting to me and I remember enjoying the process and being focused when I was drawing.

My dad built a sandbox and some play equipment in our backyard growing up. I remember filling buckets with heavy sand and making “trails” in the sandbox with my younger brother. This I remember being incredibly fun. We’d push the buckets all around the sandbox and we would only walk in the smoothed trail part of the sandbox. I think that memory is important because it’s something I did where I initiated the creation and it was really fun play.

I’ve come back to art throughout my life because I had an interest in something. I learned what letterpress was and I wanted to learn the process… to actually understand it, to create it myself and become really good at it. I wanted to learn how to make books initially because I wanted to present my graphic designs in a portfolio that I made. I would do art on my birthday as a way of taking care of myself, of soothing myself. Art has been a way for me to connect with myself. In my younger years, I would do art when I was single. It was very difficult to do it when I was in a relationship with someone else. It wasn’t until I met my now husband that I let myself really make room for my art. Now, I’m creating art on a much more regular basis and I keep returning because I have to and also because it brings me an incredible amount of joy. I can get really irritable when I haven’t been creating in a while.